Alone in a crowded Room....

This weekend has thought me the meaning of the phrase "alone in a crowded room". I know that nobody will ever read this, however it is my outlet from the harshness of life. To, that phrase, I've felt what it is to be alone in a crowded room.
Imagine seating in a car, where half of the time you don't understand what the conversation is about. You fell as though that they look down on you. Yes, that is what I've felt in recent times. The distant of good friends. Showing closeness in public is pure bullshit. Most people would think that my friends are close but sadly we're not, I feel that the closeness between friends does not extend to me. "Aiyo why you so slow one !. We already finish at 9.30 adi.". Regardless friends are rare find,however they cut you people still love roses. Really good friends are like a speck of dust in the flow of time. Harder still are those that stay with you for eternity.
I've got to stop pretending that I've got plenty of friends, in fact I've got only a hand full. Haha, this is what I would say to myself when friends start to comment on me. They do not know that such comments actually hurt me. Well if they think their better than me, let them be, its their life.
Well this alienation extends to my family to. I still feel that my parents love ,y bro and sis much more than me. However I don't blame them, as I've been branded BAD. Who would have though or had foreseen this, I didn't.
So, in the end I feel that I'm all alone, well I hope that it'll thoughen me up as to not to ask for help from those who alienated me. Well to those 0.001 % who actually read this I thank you very much. In the end its all my fault.